Unborn Child

Comment: I am 18 years old and when I found out I was pregnant I was sitting in a restroom stall at school. It was Feb 13 on a Friday. At this point I had been with my boy friend for three months. I total freaked out because I never expected for this to happen. I mean now that I think about it I should of have expected for it to happen since we were having unprotected sex. Anyways the only reason why I took the pregnancy test was because my co worker kept telling I had missed 2 periods. How did she know ? Well we had our periods at the same time. I never paid attention to when my periods came so if I did miss one I never knew. I remember looking at the pregnancy test like OMG !!!. I ran to one of my teachers and I just hugged her and cried and told her I was pregnant. I was so scared , I was scared to tell my mom . and my boy friend. My boy friend already had a 1 year old and well he wasn’t stable enough to take of his baby. I had just got him a job not to long ago. I had no money what so ever or a car because I completely wrecked mine and I was in the middle of applying for scholarships and only three months from finishing high school , I was also only one month away from a business state competition going for 10,00 dollars towards college. That day I was so distanced from my boy friend I really did tx him back because I was still shocked. We worked together so I had to see him after school and all day after that and the next day. When ever I picked him up he asked me what was wrong and I said nothing I just looked at him. A few seconds later I finally said ” I have something to tell you”.. In my head I kept saying ” I ma pregnant ” but in reality I couldn’t even speak… He kept asking me to tell him but I couldn’t, so I reached back and told him to look in my bag. He took out the two pregnancy test and he said ” what is this ?” He just looked at it and kept saying “Your lying right ?” Well no damn I wasn’t lying but I all I said was “No..” For minutes we just drove in absolute silence and he just kept looking out the window …I couldn’t take it anymore so I cried … he hugged me and told me he was not going to leave my side and that he loved me. At work I didn’t talk to him or looked at him I was scared and ashamed. Eventually we talked and everything seemed okay, but I wasn’t okay I still had to tell my mom and my family. To my family I was always the “good child” I mean I did stupid things like come home drunk a few times but they always thought I was perfect because I was so good in school.. And they also thought I was lesbian because I never had boy friends. Hahaha surprise ! This “lesbian” got pregnant. I ended up taking another test which made it the third one and it came out positive, I also went to a clinic and took one there which also came out positive ! I could not hide my pregnancy for ever specially with my horrible morning sickness that kept me from going to school for almost a month. After a few weeks I told my mom. How ? I was leaving for work I gave her and my grandma a kiss. After I got in the truck I called her just as I was pulling out the drive way. I said ” hey mom I have to tell you something” she said ” What ?” all I said was ” I am pregnant” all she said ” your are kidding right ?? What did I tell you !!! Just go to work we will talk when you come home”. Like any other teen parent she was mad for a while so was my family they were mad at my boy friend the most. I didn’t understand why just him. After all I was the one that let him in ? ha. Everything blew up after a while and everyone was happy for me and my boy friend. My family finally agreed to meet him and well they liked him. Now this is where it gets tricky. Me and him had money issues because we had things to pay like car payments and then both of our cars broke down so we didn’t have a car to drive to work. We had to depend on my mom for a while. She did not help at all.. she would tell me that my boy friend was stupid and that he didn’t love me because he didn’t want to move in with me. She was just making everything so much worst for me and him. I would tell him everything so he would get mad. I was out a job for two weeks and he quit his because we had no ride. He got another job but was just blowing it off. I start it to get scared because it seemed like he didn’t want to work. Where were we supposed to get money from ? NOW here is where things get so much worst. At four months we found out I was having a boy. My boyfriend was so happy because he already had a girl now he just needed his little boy , my mom was also very happy. My fifth month sonogram showed that my baby was not developing the right way. He was missing part of his skull and brain and had a cleft lip. It was a long day for me I was so upset and I didn’t know what to think. I had to go back three weeks later for the doctors to tell me my baby was not going to make it. They don’t know if he is going to be born alive and if he is how long he is going to live. At this moment I am 31 weeks and I am just waiting for the day to come. I am not having a baby shower I have not bought anything. I have been keeping it strong but it gets so hard sometimes. It breaks my heart to see other pregnant girls other baby’s. I don’t know what to feel at this moment. I am excited to meet my son but yet so scared for the day to come. I am currently living with my boyfriend and his daughter everything is good between us we are just struggling with money but we are managing to get things paid off. I hope to start college soon and make it all the way. I still don’t know how I am going to over come any of this. I feel really sad but I will stay strong because I don’t want my baby to feel me be sad. I will always love him no matter what because he will always be my baby. One of the hardest things I had to do so far is walk in to a Funereal home to go look at the prices for my baby’s funeral… I am due on OCT 15 nine days before my 19th birthday. It would be the best gift if I get to keep my son but the worst month if I don’t.

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